Musings of Sappy Young Adult (a.ka. me)

Have you ever had that feeling? Having a roller coaster of emotions. Feeling confused and scared for the most part. So suffocating and heavy, that it weighs you down. Growing so used to the heaviness, you learned to live with, learned to smile through it. But even if it was buried, you sometimes let it … Continue reading Musings of Sappy Young Adult (a.ka. me)


Book Review: Ten Tiny Breaths by K.A Tucker

Ten Tiny Breaths by:  K.A. Tucker Kacey Cleary’s whole life imploded four years ago in a drunk-driving accident. Now she’s working hard to bury the pieces left behind—all but one. Her little sister, Livie. Kacey can swallow the constant disapproval from her born-again aunt Darla over her self-destructive lifestyle; she can stop herself from going kick-boxer … Continue reading Book Review: Ten Tiny Breaths by K.A Tucker

Book Review: The Razorland Series by Ann Aguirre

Enclave by Ann Aguirre My rating: 4 of 5 stars "New York City residents, decimated by war and plague, live underground in Enclaves, barely past age 20. Deuce 15, trained as Huntress, pairs with odd Fade, who was boy Topside. Elders ignore warning, exile both. Monster Freaks, more organized, killed nearest Enclave. Guided by old … Continue reading Book Review: The Razorland Series by Ann Aguirre

This Is Why I’m Guarded

These are all the reasons why I’m built with walls of insecurities yet at the same time walls of defenses and armor. And these are the reasons why I’m so afraid of getting carried away by happiness that I might forget how painful it was before.

Thought Catalog

Flickr / Chiara CremaschiFlickr / Chiara Cremaschi

There’s a reason why my walls are built so high, and there’s a reason it will take you longer than expected to bring them down. There’s a reason why I’m guarded.

I’m guarded because I’ve been hurt before. We all have. My weakness is that I carry the pain with me as a constant reminder that it could happen again. And while this is such a cautious way to walk through life, while instead I could be wildly sprinting, the wild sprint has made me fall and trip before, and the scrapes and burns were painful. So painful that it takes a while to try and run that fast again. So I walk, and I walk carefully noticing my surroundings because I worry if I were to ever fall that hard again, I might not be able to get back up.

I’m guarded because I’m scared…

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